Giving up vs moving on

Life begins with learning through observing and imitating.
As you master the basic surviving skills like how to feed yourself, how to appreciate socializing, getting along with the society, you begin self-exploration.

You'll learn to fit in the environment, at the same time, exploring the way you can preserve and improve your way of living.
Most of the time, we have little power over the environment, of the life incidents, of the challenges ahead of us. While what we see is literally reflection and interpretation of our own brains, I believe everything under the sun (and the moon) differs according to our perception.

What do you think about people saying to never give up hope? Whilst saying we should never expect.
Isn't that when we hope, we are, somehow expecting things to happen?
Contradicting eh?

I have recently given up on waiting and hoping. It's a realization. I said I'm sorry. I truly am sorry because I feel the need to move on. 
Without acknowledging our past efforts in keeping things together, it'd be impossible to do so. It's a temporary goodbye. It's to put an end to the endless reliance. I know it's for the best.
And this is me, I always need a proper closure.

I'm giving up the thought that I'd one day find the one, or anyone too.
Well, honestly, I've been giving up so many times only to find myself falling in love again, to have hope again. It hurts. It is painful. I'm exhausted. I understand that if one's love and caring is not desired, it'll be perceived as something ugly instead of greatness. Henceforth, I do not allow myself to apply such pressure to someone, what's more to say it's someone I love, someone I would want him to be happiest.

I've already here at a point that I kinda wish I'm gay or bisexual (sadly I'm not?). It seems to me, they are more frank to themselves, who they are and their feelings. I love you means I love you, no games.

Some may argue, you have to play the games to get there. I have to disagree if it involves a lot of guessing. 
Why guessing and have your own perceptions when you can communicate? 
I'm on the way.

Living in the city, it seems that most people are walking around with friends, family or romantic partner.
I am the same me, walking alone. Like how I used to walk alone since kinder garden time, remembering a classmate once asked how am I always walking alone (well actually many people has been asking the same).

Honestly, I don't know. 
I just have to keep moving forward, 
time don't wait for anyone.



cheers,

横冲直撞

又是时候来个沉淀啦。

续《那些年,我们一起追的女孩》,九把刀就要退出电影版的《等一个人.咖啡》。
有庾澄庆的声音:缺口


我的《那些年》,借出去,收不回来了。
《等一个人》在巴生的家里,此刻没得回味呀!

忍不住又要感叹时光飞逝。

很应景的,近来正揣摩咖啡的我,如果重新翻阅《等一个人》,肯定是另一番滋味。
还有附在《那些年》里的光碟,那些旋律承载的回忆呀!
那个只有光碟播映的年代…


近来的我有些紧张。
称得上恐怖的六月份过去了,却累积了一堆工作上的事务待我一一去处理。
兼职以为,为了准备八月份的单车旅程,更是答应了Uncle GC一伙会跟大家一起骑车去。
如此一来,根本不可能加时工作。

顿时有种两头不到岸的感觉,很不安。


昨天从专科那里确诊了嗜睡症,就是爱睡觉。之前的挣扎,算是有个答案。
对于自己总是在课堂上、讲座里瞌睡的情况,过了自己的那一关,可以觉得不自责了。
那么多年以后,终于(唉),蔡欣颖你真的尽力了哦。


今天在兼职里听专科Culinary Art,而且也特爱烘焙的同事说说她的前景。
那,不就是我曾经的梦吗?

人生的分叉路,是不是也让你惊喜万分呢?


第二十三个年头的尾声了,算是有点成就。
中学同学说,他对我的其中一个印象,是我丫要做的事情,是可以做得蛮好的,就是没有特定的目标。
今天停下脚步一看:
正业是有了,不是特别出色,不过有些贡献;
兼职才开始一个月多,其实真的急不来;
跑步,暂且搁着;
脚踏车是急着训练的,匆匆忙忙地,为当初冲动的自己负责任。

感激生命里总是碰到贵人。
因为兼职而认识了一些cyclists,Uncle GC专程在脚踏车店里确保我得到预算里最上位的单车,还有脚踏车店里的其他专业cyclists,都给了我不少指引。


话说今天Bee给我在准备咖啡方面的建议是不能急
脚踏车前辈们也提到我在骑车时不能一开始就在


要学着不冲动,
星影

 
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