Regression

May I be dramatic tonight?
I am regressing.

This may not be 100% bad, though.

Not until I'm regressing right now, will I ever realize how far have I gone?

Hi there, little girl me.
One and a half decades later, 
you have to keep the light on again;
you have to keep your stereo on again;
suddenly your mind is so disrupted again,
you feel that the environment serve itself right, as distraction.
So that you will be distracted from your own mind, 
so then you can sleep.

For two nights ago, all these,
the dim light,
the stereo,
they would've prevented sound sleep.

They are now sleeping aids.


Life is greatly different in different people's eyes;
Life is greatly different in different experience exposure.
It has never failed to teach me how dynamic it can be.


I might have regressed to being lost again,
this time,
I do not doubt my worthiness of existence anymore;
this time,
I will heal myself, recover, and await more from life.



cheers,

Twenty-Four

I'm entering the twenty-forth year of blessed life this year.
Going from always dreaming for a surprise birthday party for princess to hosting and organizing my own 12th birthday party and went totally drained that night (I thougt it was pathetic).
I am the emotional kind. Each year as my birthday draw close, I became so caught up with myself I'll start crying.

Everything changes after my degree final year. Finally growing up I guess?

Anyway, this year I'm blessed to be celebrating early birthday with this lady, look at this beautiful breakfast she'd prepared for me!
Salad, nuts and grain bread, mushroom soup, eggs and chocolate roll.
It's simple and satisfying. She even played nice oldies music, classy.
Thank you my lady Jen'
I'm blessed.
Few months of independant living, managing my own life and expenses. Not a large amount of salary I'm getting, it's sufficient for comfortable living and some flexibility to treat myself once in a while, at the same time accumulating some saving.
So hey, so finally at the age of 24, I'm buying myself a beautiful white dress, I'm my own princess.
Spent the night before birthday workimg in the cafe, personally requested for a pretty swan latte art on my staff free drink.
Cappuccino
It was a long weekend ahead, I took the day off, thinking about giving myself a break as it was already two months into the cafe job, I was still adjusting and adapting.
Have finally gone to The Good Batch that morning.
Not the kind of food that makes you go "wow this is sooooo good!", satisfuying still. Do not recall what was the plan afterwards.
Anyway...
Got chocolate bar from Ms Boh, yes I love coffee, thank you! 

Later the night before my birthday, Jessie came to Pickle & Fig with these...
Crepe cakes from Dreamz Cafe & Bakery
Had a quick celebration, it was fun, thank you my dear.
It means a lot to me ^___^

It seems that people register me as being desserts kind of girl,
it is kinda true.
Got this Nutella tarts from my babes Rachie, Fionie and Kah.
These are sooooo good!
Definitely a guilty pleasure!
The night before coming back to PJ, there was a spontaneous karaoke outing with Klang friends.
Suki, Mah and my primary school classmate! What a pleasant surprise!!
Thank you all so much for the effort, to get me a cake when it's already so late. :)
That weekend, I had dinner with my family, together with aunt and uncle.
It's a shame that my cousins already had plan and couldn't come.
I've got this gorgeous pair of running shoes from my aunt. Love the colour!
It's fair to consider these another set of birthday present for myself. ^o^
Well it's already September, more than one month after my birthday.
All the staffs from Dietetic Services are finally back from Raya celebration and they threw me a small celebration before August ended.
Group selfie :p
It's a very nice tiramisu cake.
Out of the blue, Fatma brought me something for my birthday.
Terima kasih sungguh-sungguhnya! ^______________^
My present from Fatma

Romantic relationship is never something I'm good at. At this point, I'm still struggling. Feeling that the so-called hook up relationship also lives among us in Malaysia. How do I survive when I'm always too serious?
I will continue to be awesome! LOL!

cheers,

Ecole P @ Damansara Uptown

Not long ago, I visited this little cafe located at first floor of a shop lot in Damansara Uptown, with my dearest SumSumgirl.
Cappuccino
Entering the cafe, you'll be blown away from childhood memories (for 80's and 90's babies). 
 
 
 
 
 
Remember all these?
Then, to get to the classroom (an outdoor one's, awesome?)... 
 
Welcome back to class, Sum!
Have yourself seated, enjoy these light snacks while checking on the menu. 
It was a rainy evening, perfect weather to be seated outdoor. 
It was overall very pleasant visit, we enjoyed our time, reminiscing those good old times during high school.
Note that there are bags hanging by the side of your tables, you will find cutlery set in the pencil box. How creative is that? 
 
Vegetarian menu for me 
for her ;)
Look at this happy girl ^__^ 
 
She likes series of photos together, 
here goes: 
 
 
 
 

Thank you SumSumgirl, for the wonderful night. 

Ecole P, Damansara Uptown (facebook)
Address: 19m, Jalan SS21/37, Damansara Utama, Petaling Jaya.


cheers,

Giving up vs moving on

Life begins with learning through observing and imitating.
As you master the basic surviving skills like how to feed yourself, how to appreciate socializing, getting along with the society, you begin self-exploration.

You'll learn to fit in the environment, at the same time, exploring the way you can preserve and improve your way of living.
Most of the time, we have little power over the environment, of the life incidents, of the challenges ahead of us. While what we see is literally reflection and interpretation of our own brains, I believe everything under the sun (and the moon) differs according to our perception.

What do you think about people saying to never give up hope? Whilst saying we should never expect.
Isn't that when we hope, we are, somehow expecting things to happen?
Contradicting eh?

I have recently given up on waiting and hoping. It's a realization. I said I'm sorry. I truly am sorry because I feel the need to move on. 
Without acknowledging our past efforts in keeping things together, it'd be impossible to do so. It's a temporary goodbye. It's to put an end to the endless reliance. I know it's for the best.
And this is me, I always need a proper closure.

I'm giving up the thought that I'd one day find the one, or anyone too.
Well, honestly, I've been giving up so many times only to find myself falling in love again, to have hope again. It hurts. It is painful. I'm exhausted. I understand that if one's love and caring is not desired, it'll be perceived as something ugly instead of greatness. Henceforth, I do not allow myself to apply such pressure to someone, what's more to say it's someone I love, someone I would want him to be happiest.

I've already here at a point that I kinda wish I'm gay or bisexual (sadly I'm not?). It seems to me, they are more frank to themselves, who they are and their feelings. I love you means I love you, no games.

Some may argue, you have to play the games to get there. I have to disagree if it involves a lot of guessing. 
Why guessing and have your own perceptions when you can communicate? 
I'm on the way.

Living in the city, it seems that most people are walking around with friends, family or romantic partner.
I am the same me, walking alone. Like how I used to walk alone since kinder garden time, remembering a classmate once asked how am I always walking alone (well actually many people has been asking the same).

Honestly, I don't know. 
I just have to keep moving forward, 
time don't wait for anyone.



cheers,

横冲直撞

又是时候来个沉淀啦。

续《那些年,我们一起追的女孩》,九把刀就要退出电影版的《等一个人.咖啡》。
有庾澄庆的声音:缺口


我的《那些年》,借出去,收不回来了。
《等一个人》在巴生的家里,此刻没得回味呀!

忍不住又要感叹时光飞逝。

很应景的,近来正揣摩咖啡的我,如果重新翻阅《等一个人》,肯定是另一番滋味。
还有附在《那些年》里的光碟,那些旋律承载的回忆呀!
那个只有光碟播映的年代…


近来的我有些紧张。
称得上恐怖的六月份过去了,却累积了一堆工作上的事务待我一一去处理。
兼职以为,为了准备八月份的单车旅程,更是答应了Uncle GC一伙会跟大家一起骑车去。
如此一来,根本不可能加时工作。

顿时有种两头不到岸的感觉,很不安。


昨天从专科那里确诊了嗜睡症,就是爱睡觉。之前的挣扎,算是有个答案。
对于自己总是在课堂上、讲座里瞌睡的情况,过了自己的那一关,可以觉得不自责了。
那么多年以后,终于(唉),蔡欣颖你真的尽力了哦。


今天在兼职里听专科Culinary Art,而且也特爱烘焙的同事说说她的前景。
那,不就是我曾经的梦吗?

人生的分叉路,是不是也让你惊喜万分呢?


第二十三个年头的尾声了,算是有点成就。
中学同学说,他对我的其中一个印象,是我丫要做的事情,是可以做得蛮好的,就是没有特定的目标。
今天停下脚步一看:
正业是有了,不是特别出色,不过有些贡献;
兼职才开始一个月多,其实真的急不来;
跑步,暂且搁着;
脚踏车是急着训练的,匆匆忙忙地,为当初冲动的自己负责任。

感激生命里总是碰到贵人。
因为兼职而认识了一些cyclists,Uncle GC专程在脚踏车店里确保我得到预算里最上位的单车,还有脚踏车店里的其他专业cyclists,都给了我不少指引。


话说今天Bee给我在准备咖啡方面的建议是不能急
脚踏车前辈们也提到我在骑车时不能一开始就在


要学着不冲动,
星影

Milestone

Hey there, it's a beautiful Wednesday night. 
If I were to take photos of me with my laptop sitting at a cafe each time, it'd begin in the year 2007;
the most recent one? Right now.

Hajimaru


I'm a Klangite, raised and grow up in Klang, 
sister to three elder brothers, sometimes said to be the pearl in palms (掌上明珠) of my parents'.
I was a girl who can easily cry. In Mandarin we refer a person like this as ku bao (哭包).
I was also temperamental, referred as xiao qi gui (小气鬼).
These names, I carry as I grow, until I gradually learn and understand myself.
It's been a long journey of self exploration.

I have all the time to do that though, since these characteristics kinda make you anti-social.

As a kid


I'd had piano lessons and got myself through till Grade 6. Promised myself I'll continue learning one day when I stopped at age 18 but never really practice much since then. 
I've got my first classical guitar from a high school senior at age 18, still remember a few chords but never really into it anyway. I own a ukulele as well, the same fate happens to it.

Teenage dream?


I've joined a performance group, namely Dandelion. On the stage, we danced while the lead singer was singing. I love the friends I've made in the group. I was still making the effort to contribute in the group when I was at university first year. Later then find it really exhausting and am now not going back to the practice session on Friday nights anymore.

Finally getting rid of those heavy school bags


The most significant bit of university life will be the three years in cheer leading with the Taurus team. 
My results from first semester cling to the edge of passing grade while I allocate most of my time to procrastination and joining activities with the IMU cup.
It was the first time in my life, to be living out of house. It was most of the time so unpleasant I turn to food. That should be the dark age to my fitness and health. Yea we exercise a lot in the cheer leading training. But I remember feel exhausted and not being able to catch up with the routine which require certain level of stamina. 
I was never a sport person.

Being rejected again and experienced the dramatic moment of running in the rain, wishing for the person to run to you but of course, that never happened, eh hm.

Goodbye to first year uni.

A ride to freedom


I took up first part time job as a front liner in a local dessert shop after obtaining car key passing from brother. Dearie grey Myvi is still my ride right now.
Thank you da jie (大姐). It was from her, I learnt that you can't define clear cut to everything under the sky, certain thing deserves grey area. I think I gained further that year, with all the free beverages while tendering the ice desserts and beverages in the dessert shop.
Do drop by the Lucky Jelly at Ambang Botanic if you are in Klang. I promise you they have good quality control over their ingredients.

Final year in university would be a year of change. I moved from Kuala Pilah, to Bukit Jalil; from Bukit Jalil to Seremban, from Seremban to Pulau Penang. It was those experiences that make me so comfortable living alone right now. Not much about learning to cook myself, to take care of my laundry, groceries and other housechores; I have been doing those on my own since young. These experiences truly teach me to appreciate time being alone, to accept and embrace it.
Well sometimes, I'm even worried if I'll be so comfortable being alone I'll never get life companion in future.

My first butterfly-in-the-stomach ganjiong moment was during the final year Medical Nutrition Therapy exam paper, when my touch n go was dropped out of the car while I was passing the tol. 
I have been feeling this way for the past few days, I know it's not because of the period.
It's my confirmation presentation tomorrow.
Aside from the fact that the slides is not ready, I'm truly nervous about it.
Not that I'm scared if I won't perform for passing, but because it marks another milestone in my life.

Present is gift


So here I am, sitting comfortably at Frisky Goat TTDI. Spending the money not bothering too much about the price of food and drinks while I was a stingy freak.

I'm proud to say, hey, I've grown!

I love the fact that I stepped out of my comfort zone when I first sent my e-mail to Pickle&Fig to request for an interview for part time job. I love that I told Bee I'm passionate, emotional and have thinking of my own (it's kinda like saying that I'm one of a kind actually :p) during the interview.

I love most that, I'm actually balancing my full time and part time job (aside from that it's been good number of referrals I'm kinda crazily occupied). On top of that, meeting friends, trying to make time to train for cycling and marathon.

Last but not least, I'm telling people my puffy face is my trademark :目
Appreciate what you have
right here, right now.
That's living in the moment.
Still, it matters, the angle of photo taking :p


cheers,

City Kaffa @ Bandar Botanic, Klang | Thursdvy @ TTDI | The Grumpy Cyclist @ TTDI

Hey there, it's been a while.
Espresso * Wandering mind * Music
Other than getting a new part time job, I've been hopping around KL.
Are you ready?

Go!

(Ops, this one's from Klang)

City Kaffa @ Bandar Botanic, Klang

City Kaffa
City Kaffa, located in Bandar Botanic, Klang, run by two gentlemen determined to bring coffee culture up in Klang, much inspired by the coffee culture in Taiwan where they have spent few years in. 
My usual order of espresso with desserts
They charge reasonably. Sandwiches are also served here with some unique combination of fruits, light and refreshing.
I've always love a combination of bitter and sweet.
Feel free to have a chat with the barista or cafe owner. They love sharing their love for coffee.

City Kaffa 城市咖啡 (site
Address: 98-1, Jalan Mahagoni 1, Bandar Botanic, Klang, Selangor.

Thursdvy @ TTDI

It's easy to remember when you shouldn't be coming to this place, their weekly day off is Thursday.
May issue of Time Out Kuala Lumpur
 This place is well known for the unique interior design. It's cozy and spacious with the warehouse-like theme.
Had my Ristretto as usual, with something sweet
Fairly charged,
RM10 for a lovely brownies topped with ice cream
I'd enjoyed a nice week day night out here. It's a place to revisit!

Thursdvy (foursquare)
Address: 22, Lorong Datuk Sulaiman 1, Taman Tun Dr Ismail, Kuala Lumpur

The Grumpy Cyclist @ TTDI

I visited The Grumpy Cyclist on a Saturday afternoon.
Sitting by the door, the cutleries and drinking water are all self-serviced.
It's the kind of weather make you wanna sing:
"It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling"
especially when served with this! 
Oscar Egg 
It's runny inside the thick layer of egg,
aromatic with onions and mushrooms. 
It's known for being cyclist-friendly,
offering services for bicycle. 
It's something different as well, with the interior designer. You'll find shower here.
 
 
 
I had my late lunch, followed by espresso with desserts as usual. 
Gorgeous "Blondie"
with texture like chocolate brownies, the generous amount of pecans give texture and aroma 

The Grumpy Cyclist (site)
Address: 36, Jalan Datuk Sulaiman, Taman Tun Dr Ismail, Kuala Lumpur.


cheers,

 
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