踏实

大大小小的‘课外’活动都结束了,终于能够专心地读书了,
真的在读书了…… 真的在提前准备考试了……
根据我的countdown counter,离EOS考试还有15天零9个小时。
由于还没有决定接下来的两个星期study break是否要留在这里读书,今天开始去图书馆准备需要的材料,包括讲师笔记看不懂的部分要找书看,看得懂的当然就要找习题来练习看看。

现在才是生活……
之前那种忙得喘不过气的生活真会让人崩溃~~
虽然如此,还是很庆幸能认识到一班很不一样的朋友,哈哈,让我也疯起来了~ EOS考试过后当晚可能会跟他们聚,sleepover party~~~ woohoo~~

那段日子里‘失去联络’的朋友也‘重新找回’了,心里的空挡补回了,很开心(笑)……
MPH在学校办书展,买了两本杂志只花了RM8,过后可以慢慢看了~ 也~~

时间表已经翻到最后一页了……
明天就是最后一个presentation了……
星期三有最后的实验课……
这个学期就快过去了……
前阵子忽然怀念开学前的日子,我的脑袋真是乱起八糟哦。
一定要珍惜当下,因为拥有过就是一种幸福了,对吧?

要开心哦

有多久没碰部落格了?或许生活充实了好多,所以不需要再依赖部落格来让我抒情说心事。

这段日子里生活中有好多事,好多的活动,每次活动结束后都累得没心情写部落格了,只是上来看看,瞄一眼,又把网址换成了facebook.com了。Facebook真是可怕的东西,这些日子以来花在facebooking的时间竟然比之前用在部落格的时间还多好多。都是好胜心作祟,可怕的 facebook applicationSSsss……

要写下的事有:
1 可怕的时间表,一个星期里有两个Class test、三个presentation
2 ND Seminar的文章备受肯定,hoho,爽到爆~
3 除了忙功课报告测验,还跟cheerleading的朋友一起去疯了一整夜,爆了十颗痘痘也不会后悔
4 很不想因为有了一班新的朋友而忽略了曾一起经历好多好多的知己朋友,偏偏自己却常常开不了口
5 我还有几十题professionalism的题目还没回答!加上……
6 今天是表姐怀婷结婚的日子,哇!今天要开夜车了~

表姐怀婷和表姐夫明峰gogo,自大学起,相恋至今,应该差不多还是超过8年啦。对他们来说,结婚只不过是个仪式.对于8年的爱情长跑,婚礼只不过是一份向大家公开的承诺,人生中的一个阶段——结婚生子
我们这个大家族就快又要有新的成员了,真好 =D


愿天下有情人终成眷属……
and happily ever after....

SORRY…

久违了绿光星影,这次要来篇“又长又臭”的了。
长者,因为有太多的体验、太多的感受要写了;
臭者,星影又有一大堆的流泪史了……

20个人,一路以来,进进退退,加加减减,到最后能够有这个人数,真的好不容易。
参与过又退出的:Jia Yun, Wendy, Zac;
幸好能有他们来替补位置的:Loon Wei, Christine。
Along the road, some join us, some left us, and at the end, comes to this number, 20.

作为一个第一学期的新生,在不懂状况下,对自己的期待太高,给自己的目标舍得好理想。到最后才发现自己根本无法平衡活动与课业的时间,前两个星期以内,测验、练习全碰在一起,压力真的很大,以致甚至埋怨练习时间太长,又觉得没有练习出什么成果而觉得浪费时间。心里有这样的感觉,真的觉得很惭愧………… 大家都那么用心,付出那么多,我却……只是个泪/累囊。只会哭,成了个累赘……
As a first sem student, I think I haven't notice that things will finally bomb into each other. And I set a goal that is not easy to reach. I failed to balance my time on study and practice. As a result, I got lots of pressure when I need to deal with class tests and practices. Later, in my heart, I start to blame and complain that time for practice is too long and sometimes it is wasted when it is not productive... I feel so ashamed.... I'm a burden who only know how to cry a LOT....
比赛前一天在测验之后,我发现带来的啦啦队制服别人拿走了。真的慌了。我该怎么办?过后我试着冷静下来,自己找篇所有地方,也去了lost&found,真的束手无策了,我告诉大队,我也知道是自己惹了麻烦了,不过在这个时刻,感受到负责人的‘不愉快’,倍感压力呀……商讨解决方案的时候又被质疑是不是自己弄不见的的时候,我真的很难过…… 东西被人家拿走了也不是我想的,也不是我的错啊,为什么要质疑我?……
One day right before the competition, I lost my outfit... I'm panicked and later I cooled down and do everything that I can do, I went to lost&found too. Finally, I told everyone in the team. I felt depressed when I was doubt if I'm losing the outfit out of my mistake as it is really because someone had accidentally mistaken my stuff.
因为这样,那天晚上的练习我整个人都快崩溃了…… Venus也在了,可是那种情况下,我真的需要自己一个人冷静下来。对不起我拒绝所有人的慰问,我实在,必须自己一个人冷静,更多的安慰,我会哭得更猛。
I really need to be left alone so that I can cool myself down. I refused to listen to anyone because more comfort words will only make me cry like hell.
大家,真的很抱歉,真的真的很抱歉…………
"Mentally broke down is really not what we want at this moment."
我知道,很对不起,我实在控制不了…… 尤其一开始还以为你们忍心让我再自己掏腰包买多一件制服,说到钱我就更惨了,我真的花不起了,真的破产了。过后又知道你们打算全部人一起帮我付,那又是感动的泪水…… 啊!!!真想把我的泪腺剪掉!!!
I'm so sorry... How I wish I don't cry so much and thanks for helping me with the cost of new outfit.


总之……
那晚的事情真的很对不起……
直到隔天,也就是比赛当天我还是没有勇气公开向大家赔不是……唉……
I have not guts to apologize to everyone before the competition but I'm really sorry for causing so much trouble..


谢谢你们大家,总是对我那么好,总是原谅我,总是那么支持我……
Thanks for being so nice and supportive... =)
上面只是一些来得及拍的照片…… 没跟每个人都拍一张合照有点遗憾,哎呀。
左行由上至下:Yun Shuann, Wei Wen, Tracy, Loon Wei, Chiu Hong
右行由上至下:Kelly, Fion, Jason, Ivana, Beh
没在照片里的有:Venus, Kin Man, Kwang How, Alex, Wai Peng, Pei Zhi, Jones, Christine, Grace

谢谢Wei Wen, Beh, Kwang How,好几次送我回去……
谢谢Tracy,谢谢你帮我买yoko yoko……
谢谢Jason, Ivana,你们总是散播快乐因子,给我最灿烂的笑容……
谢谢Wai Peng, 总是那么关心我……
谢谢你们陪我一起mamak,谢谢你们跟我一起在IMU外的草地上syok sendiri到半夜,……

最后还是很想再说一次,对不起……
Again... I'm sorry..
And...
I'm gonna miss those days,
those moments we spent TOGETHER...

我的密友

早上的课结束了,我吃了blunch,想起待会儿有英文课,讲义没带来呀,就回去拿吧。

阳光普照,
鸟儿鸣叫,
好风光……

思乡心情,从前轻松自在的生活都过去了,但现在却会想着全然不能松懈而倍感压力。昨天把难过压抑的心情都写出来了,过后的我又能够开开心心地笑了。


部落格,loner能够大大方方公开的密友……

Just can't get over it

There's a fight in my heart.
Do I really need a close friend, like a sister? To stick together all the time?
Can I get a moderate? A friend who know me, not to stick together all the time as I'm the kind of person who need extra personal space.

I've been very down since the mid-autumn festival. Pressure kills me. Lack of time spent with parents kills me. Maybe, loneliness kills me...

It's not time for blue mood, I don't have such time. But I just can't get over it. Am really down... Feels like crying all the time. Brother, sorry, I lied to you, I'm not fine..

I don't regret for pushing away my previously close friend whom I sticked together with. I got some friends to go to lunch together. Somehow, it's empty in my heart.
I burst into cry yesterday. Was really crying out loud when I reached my apartment in Bukit Jalil, luckily there was no one there yet.

Felt like going back to who I am when I was in primary school and the first and second year of secondary school. Totally disaster.

I know I need to talk to someone. When the list went through in my mind, there are people who I think I want to talk to but I gave up because I think I'll be laughed at if I ever speak out the reason of being down. There are also people who I really want to talk to but there's either a long distance between or the inappropriate relationship to chat personal's stuff.
And then... I end up crying to myself again.


Things start buzzing in my mind again..
Thursday rushing time for MUET, Human pysiology test, unfinished cheer leading banner, general chemistry poster that I don't contribute enough, article of vitamin A which I rewrite for the second time, distribution of notes improperly and being blamed, ...

Pressure and feeling of helpless...
It's killing me, really.

I'm a blast! A failure!!

不一样的中秋

除了因为已经不是长住家里了,中秋节变成是一定要回家的日子所以比起往年的中秋,今年的中秋很不一样,再来就是今年我在不一样的地方,跟不一样的人,一起渡过……

中秋晚会上会了好几位中学给自己上过课的老师,还有一位学会负责老师,跟我最好聊的吴玉琪老师。

第一次感受到兴华原来在自己心里有这么一个地位,第一次因为自己对兴华依然熟悉而兴奋,第一次因为自己华文念得依然不错而庆幸,吾爱华文~

中秋节的早晨以与大哥一起享用的快餐开始,再来就是忙着准备拜拜,过后吃妈妈的黄姜鸡和Meehoon Siam。
最后,夜晚10点多,抱着疲惫的身躯,回到家。自捐血后,常头晕头痛,所以我都乖乖地吃院方提供的维他命补充丸,还是无济于事。所幸,忙碌的时候就会忘了身体上的不舒服。
在晚会上吃了点,但是那种活动量是平时的好几倍呀,还好我抱回了两粒咸蛋酥,超好吃的啦!我的最爱~~ 有时就是要脸皮厚一点,对自己好一点,哈哈哈~ 除非待哪一天能有人替我开口,替我保留…… 想罢了啦。

半夜看球的时候又啃了包快熟面,曼联主场打平,真是让人捏一把冷汗,又是最后补时的时候进球…… 评述有说对垒利物浦的比赛在25号,大概无缘啦。求神拜佛希望球员们生生性性啦,因为这场实在打得不好,传球不到位,跑也跑不动,守门员就算了,不说了。


EOS Exam的时间表出来咯。拼啦!!!
 
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